My life is a continuing photo essay of randomness and beauty...
The Colour chandelier.... a piece of beauty to aspire to!
The fantastic car park hosts at Colour showing us to our car park (in thongs, no less!) (er, sorry Brits, that's flip flops to you!)
My new boyfriend - look at those rosy cheeks, how could I resist a kiss?
Too brilliant to even need an explanation.... (because you can't get fresher than that!)
On Monday Shelley, Mish and I were at Darling Harbour, and we went to the Chinese Friendship Gardens - which I've been dying to go to for ages. They are beautiful sculptured, maincured gardens, with a stunning waterfall, and a tranquil lake with giant koi, rogue turtles, funny temple-like buildings and beautiful plants everywhere.
And they made me be a Ming princess.
No, really. It was so cool!
There's a part where you can get dressed up in costumes like Chinese royalty would have worn, and you can use your own camera to take pictures of yourself around the gardens. You need to pay to ake the pictures, and sadly, being a few days before pay day I did not have the cashola to get the pictures done. And I explained this to the man as he asked if I'd like to be dressed up. I explained it to him again as he tied a long white skirt around my waist. I tried mumbling it again as he put a beautiful blue kimono on and gave me a fan to hold. I completely shut up as he placed on my head the most ornate and spectacular head dress you have ever seen!
It had blue birds and dragons and huge pearls on sticks! It had tassels that came down past my waist! It had sparkles and diamantes and good gracious it was just the most amazing thing I've ever worn ever. I kind of floated over to the mirror and remained in a daze for some time! Princess! A Ming Princess! Like a beautiful dream come true. I smiled benificently at myself in the mirror.
Til I hear Shelley saying 'No, no! I want to be the BOY!" (much to the dismay of the Chinese dressing man and his assistant who weretrying to dress Shelley in a pink robe!) So they dressed Shelley up as an emperor - complete with large sword and all!
The time came to take off the head dress, but I must confess that I've been mentally wearing it around ever since :-)
I was so floored by this beautiful poem, from my friend Phoenix.
We
You reached for me and brushed my heart and
where you touched you stuck.
Your fingerprints engraved upon the surface of my soul
grew to be a part of me –
in time
your touch was mine.
Your presence
no longer questioned but embraced as though my own.
Phoenix
And then my buddy Mr Torongo added some more genius.
i reached for you and brushed your heart
i only meant to graze it, not stick to it
i reached out in desperation seeking comfort
found a heart i could neither leave nor ignore
and i became a part of you
you became a part of we
and we became.. us
Check out their collective wisdom, and my other talented blogging buddies in my links section.
So here's the next challenge: Write a character profile for yourself if you had lived in medieval times.
Hmm... sounds simple enough. I've read enough sci-fi/fantasy books set in medieval-type times.
Name: Amy Louise (Secret identity: Amarylis, medieval-type superhero, no lycra tights but definately a big sword plus swift and dashing steed)
Physical Characteristics: So Amy is an ordinary flower seller, with a little shop right in the heart of the citadel. She gets around in faded (yet still fashionable) gowns and sensible shoes. Amarylis (on the other hand) has a practical yet ever-so stylish get up, which includes a huge sword, bow and arrow, many dagger belts, and probably also a tiara. (Hey, this is my story!)
Likes: Amy is really into her shop, and her family. Probably pretty passionate about flowers and plants. There might also be a cute baker in a shop across the way who she's interested in!
Amarylis is passionate about righting wrongs, bringing justice to all, and giving bad guys a whopping big hiding with the flat of her sword. She does kill the occasional really bad guy, but only if she's definately sure that he's irredeemable.
Dislikes: Amy dislikes people who don't buy flowers, the florist suppliers who charge too much, and the shop owner next door because she sings really loudly and off-key all day long, and always hangs around that cute baker uneccessarily.
Amarylis dislikes finding somewhere private to do a quick change into the super hero costume, finding somewhere expedient to store the sword and shield, having to chase down smugglers and criminals when it's muddy, and when swordfights leave her with chipped nails.
Actually, that was tougher than I thought!
Check out Phoenix's profile or even Mr Torongo's saga. Any ideas for the next challenge?
I found this funny site during my travel on the web, and it has a 'Beliefomatic' quiz which has a whole heap of questions and says it will find the faith most suited to your answers. I know, it's silly, but I thought I'd give it a go just to see what it came up with. Check out the list and percentages below:
1. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (100%)
2. Jehovah's Witness (92%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian/Protestants (69%)
4. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (69%)
5. Bahá'í Faith (65%)
6. Orthodox Judaism (64%)
7. Sikhism (59%)
8. Orthodox Quaker (58%)
9. Islam (52%)
10. Liberal Quakers (51%)
11. Seventh Day Adventist (50%)
12. Reform Judaism (49%)
13. Eastern Orthodox (44%)
14. Roman Catholic (44%)
15. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (41%)
16. Unitarian Universalism (41%)
17. Jainism (38%)
18. Hinduism (36%)
19. Neo-Pagan (35%)
20. Mahayana Buddhism (30%)
21. Theravada Buddhism (29%)
22. New Age (27%)
23. Secular Humanism (27%)
24. New Thought (25%)
25. Taoism (21%)
26. Scientology (19%)
27. Nontheist (17%)
I'm glad it put Scientologists second last... those guys are nuts! (In my humble opinion, anyway) Not sure which one of these on the list that I would actually identify myself with anyway? How funny!
I stayed at my mums place this weekend (yes, there is broadband here, which is why the blog has gotten so much love!) and on Saturday night mum made the most delightful dinner - roast pork with fresh apple sauce and roasted vegetables. My mum is the best cook ever!
She also got us all matching shirts to wear. This is an essential part of any girls wardrobe - shirts that match her good friends. So obviously being family, it was high time we had matching outfits! (Don't fault the logic, it's there if you if you look for it.)
The girls
Our best NKOTB/Spice Girls pose...
Then we somehow got into this bizaare competition about who could do the weirdest things with their body. Mum and I can wiggle our pinky toe (you try it!), I can raise one eyebrow at a time, Katy can't roll her tongue, and Jessie... well, Jessie has a funny trick she does with her lips which is quite her own little thing. She tried her hardest to teach Katy, Katy I wouldn't actually be that upset that you can't do it! Luckily, as usual, I was there with my digital camera to record the attempts... what would these girls do without me?
Those crazy sisters of mine!
So I've moved in to the Cottage! (Did I officially say that before?) Even though the staff who work in the office of the church who own the cottage seem to be totally unequppied to understand my arrival, as my mail keeps getting 'Not At This Address' written on it in very flowery handwriting and being sent back.
Shelley and I moved in to the big room at the front of the house. It was a big move as we both have a lot of junka nd not enough storage space. We had mess EVERYWHERE. And so how did we spend our time? Well, it's a theory known as 'displacement cleaning' where you clean every single other space you can, and totally avoid the immediate mess you need to actually clean. Suffice it to say that we a) discovered the the front door step is real marble b) found that the fireplace is full of real coal and c) now have sparkling clean windows!
The Cottage Crew is cool, and growing cooler by the minute. Lovely Kiwi Lynne has now moved back to Kiwiland. We took her out for her birthday the week before she left. We went for Indian, which I don't usually like, but it was actually great. We had a great time! 
Aimee, Lynne, Amylou, Shelley
Lynne, Aaron, Aimee, Shelley
Lynne made a (rather offhand) announcement that she was pregnant! How exciting! So we had a bit of a celebration!
Cheers!
So when do you draw a line and when do you not? I'm having issues with a particular person, and they're old issues, but they're not going away, as much as I try to grow past it I just haven't so far. I know that being a Christian is about reflecting Gods love on the world. I've been given a big second chance, having my sins forgiven by God and starting again as a new creation. Not everyone has that chance (although it's there for anyone who wants it!) and not everyone makes the decision to remake themselves either.
So here's an interesting thing now - in church our big focus is on becoming bigger people. Sanding off your rough edges and becoming smoother. Being a better leader, serving your own leaders better, becoming easier to be around, becoming someone people want to be around, learning about how to focus on other people and not on yourself, learning about how much God loves us - and catching that love and loving other people so much too. But (and here's my point) people who aren't in church don't have this regular and continuedfocus on self-improvement. Sure there are self-help books you can read - but you don't have any purpose behind change other than wanting to. And the problem as I see it, is that a lot of times you don't actually know what it is about yourself that needs changing. Also you don't feel the need to change it, because it can easily be perceived as "Well, if people have a problem with me they can get over it!"
What I love about church, and my church in particular (I've never been to any other church, so maybe they are all like this, I don't know) is that there is a focus on commitment to growing each other and growing closer to God. Think about when you would usually change your behaviour - it's usually to please or impress a loved one. Well I love God, with all all all my heart, and I want to do whatever makes Him happy. And I have His word in the bible which shows behaviours that I can pattern, lessons I can follow, people I can learn from. I know the direction I need to take.
I posted once before about praying about my faults, and asking God to help me improve them. I still have that list and I still work on it. I'm lucky to have friends who call me out on my behaviour when it's getting bad, or weird. (You know who you are!) Friends who I respect and love, and whose opinion means a great deal to me. I also know that it's my responsibility to talk to them about things I'm having trouble dealing with, or behaviours of mine that I need accountability on, and get them to help me work through it.
So where is that accountability for non-Christians? Where is that drive to make themselves better people, and more accommodating to others? Don't get mad - I know that was a very generalised statement and I don't stand by it. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm having these same old issues with this person, and I've told them MANY times how they could perhaps, maybe, possibly try acting a little differently towards me, but they don't. And it's frustrating me! If you know that your behaviour is annoying someone, or hurting someone - don't you make an effort to change it? Why wouldn't you change your behaviour?
I can certainly trying to take a lesson away from this though. Am I being hypocritical? Do I change my behaviour when I see it hurting other people? Or do I think to myself "That's just something they need to get over!"? Yep, I'm guilty of that! And I also know that the point of loving someone isn't that they love you back - because love needs to be selfless and string-free. Love isn't a bargain, ie: you be nice to me and then I'll love you. Love is just total acceptance of a person , and saying "I'm going to love you no matter what."
(But if someone isn't being nice to you, you don't have to keep hanging around that person.) (In fact, maybe it's easier to love some people when you don't see them very often!)
Every Saturday night after church we have a 'Frontline' event. Frontline is the age group between 25 and 35, into which I fit quite neatly. It's all fun thngs - like fish and chips at Bondi, Luna Park, beach volleyball, moonlight cinema etc. Great times, great people - I really enjoy it!
Two weeks ago the event was houseparties. My connect group went to a prty at a guy called George's apartment - a beautiful, beautiful place. I don't remember the name of the suburb. It was a lovely apartment, there was a whole heap of great people there, nice space, nice food - I was having a really great time.
Most of the wonderful people from my connect group were there too, which was great. Someone pulled out a guitar and some people with the most brilliant brilliant voices started singing, and people were doing all 4-part harmonies and I just LOVED it! They were singing some church songs, and some daggy old 80's songs (one guy kept breaking out into "I will always love you" which was funny!
And then, all of a sudden, hilariously, it turned into a Boys Party. Don't think I'm being sexist, just listen to what happened and you judge for yourself. So the music suddenly was turned off, and two projectors were pulled out and aimed at the wall, 12 people were grabbed and sat down in the living room - and all of a sudden there is a 12-way game of Halo 2 (a violent shooting computer game) going on! This was George's idea of how girls and guys could mix - by all playing computer games together! It was hysterical!
I thought it was a bit strange to start with, but it ended up being a lot of fun. The bottom left screen is me. I didn't end up going very well - possibly because I was taking pictures at the same time as playing! It never would have occurred to me that that would be a fun thing to do at a party. Boys are funny people aren't they?
This it totally turning out to be my favourite job I've ever had! (Apart from working at the Olympics, which obviously won't ever be beaten!) On my first day they had a sign up saying 'Welcome' with my name on it! How great is that!
So my company is a medical supply company. Hospitals and sugeries send us orders by fax, phone and email, I enter them, and the boy sin the warehouse pick them, pack them, and send them out. There are a lot of different products, and my product training is taking a while longer than I thought it would have - which has been hard, but the things that I have learned about are fascinating!
Adapting back to full time work was difficult after so many weeks of long lazy sleep-in mornings. Most it has been two cups of tea to get me going in the morning!
One of our major products are catheters. Check out this hilarious Christmas decoration we had:
Yep, it's a cherub wearing a catheter and legbag... classy...
The office is great - we have a huge big cafeteria downstairs that we have parties in, birthday celebrations once a month etc.
Did I mention the pool outside? Sometimes when it's really hot I go and eat my lunch with my feet in the pool - oh you can't tell me you're not jealous of that! It's unbelievable!
It's been really, really, really busy lately, owing to one girl being on holidays and one girl quitting unexpectedly - which has been pretty tough. Luckily it looks like an end to the madness is in sight now, and things will get back to normal. As long as I can keep resisting all the FOOD that is constantly delivered to our doorstep! It's so nice to have a great job, great people, great money (woohoo!) and a pool, a POOL!
I know it's boring to look at pictures of someone elses holiday, or kids, or pets. In fact - I know that usually you find it boring just looking at any pictures of peope you don't know or that you aren't in! (Or am I showing my narcissistic side now?!) But every now and then you have to sit through looking at someone's pictures and pretend to be interested, and here's a great opportunity for you to do that now, because here are some pictures of my beloved cat Button!
Button was a revenge baby, in a way. I'd wanted a cute little kitten for ages, and kept asking mum and dad, who kept saying no. Then one day mum said yes! (she told me just recently she said yes to annoy my dad, who was away at the time, and came home to find a new addition to the family!) A friend at work had a pedigree long hair cat who'd just had kittens with a pedigree short hair cat. (What kind of cat? I don't remember!) He was giving away the kittens, and told me he had a cute little black and white one called Button that I could have.
She's the sweetest little thing. Her love language is definately 'touch' as she loves being cuddled and patted, which not all cats do. She also talks a lot, which I think is cute (unless it's early in the morning and she wants to be fed before I've gotten up - that's just rude). She loves sitting in boxes, and always wants to go underneath blankets or tables or into bags. 
She also does this funny thing where if there's a big wide space (like a bed) with only one thing on it (like a plastic bag) - she'll go and sit on that one thing and sleep, or cuddle up to that one thing and sleep.
Yep - that's my baby! I missed her a lot when I was in London, and she actually sent me a few emails, which was pretty impressive! It's always nice to have someone around who thinks you're terrific and just wants to hug you.
Okay, so here goes the Blog Challenge Round 1. "To write an Award acceptance speech."
"Wow, wow, I'm so speechless! I can't believe that I really... wow, this is just amazing, thank you so much! I honestly wasn't expecting this, I don't have anything prepared..." (pulls out a huge piece of paper from cleavage, leaving cleavage noticeably lessened) "execpt this short list of people without whom I never would have gotten this far! I'd like to say a big thank you, firstly, for the judges, for having the foresight to see that I was clearly the most talented person in the running for this award. Your perception and recognition is amazing, and I congratulate you on that!"
*applause*
"Oh, wow, this is just so... wow, it's unbelievable! Who would have ever thought!"
*laughs*
"I'd like to thank the designer who made my dress, for having the brilliance and wisdom to be able to design a dress that complements my amazing figure and actually enhances my beauty instead of detracting from it - you are a true genius and I love you so much!"
*applause*
"Of course I have to thank the make up people, the lighting technicians and the cameramen tonight - who have made me look so beautiful, you are truely wonderful and I know that this will be a night that you will remember forever, having the honour to make me look so hot, thank you thank you!"
*whistles from backstage, scattered applause from the crowd*
"I'd like to thank the runners up, for just not being as good as me - you gave it your best and you fell short, but God bless you for that my friends, God bless you."
*silence...*
"But most of all, I have to thank you, the audience, my peers, without you I would have no one to show off in front off, no one to gloat to, well - there'd be nobody to beat would there!"
*jeers and booing*
"So thank you, thank you all for being here on this night, this important night! I'll be out the back signing autographs in just a few moments, you can all form a bit of a queue and I promise I'll sign them all! Unless I get bored, maybe actually the important people should come up the front of the queue, could you do that? Thank you! Thank you so much! I love you all!"
*tomatoes thrown onstage, Amy hauled offstage sharpish*
and is taking me with it.... random stories from my life....
* I catch the bus to work and back every day, and I love watching how when the bus drivers pass each other they give each other a little nod or wave. These crazy bus drivers on my work route actually stick their tongues out at each other and pull silly faces. I love that even more!
* I saw a little park called 'Jinkers Green'. That made me chuckle.
* The other day my bus driver offered to take the bus through McDonalds drive through if anyone was hungry. We weren't, so he kept drivng!
* Check out the nets around this trampoline. Sure it's safe - but how do you get in??
* I saw a man the other day wearing a singlet that said: 'Port Douglas Singlet Hire'
* I was shopping the other day and saw the most beautiful shoes - they were pink, and tall, and pointy, and had this beautiful little arrangement of crystals and beads and ribbons that hung down on one side and kind of dripped off the ankle. They were so delicious! I started thinking to myself 'I totally need shoes like that! They would be so practical! There's so many occasions I would need them for!' I picked up the shoes to look underneath to see how much they were, and there was a big sticker saying 'DREAM ON'. Fair enough, I thought, can't argue with the shoes. i put them down and moved on!
* I went for a walk the other day and suddenly saw a little boy on a bike coming towards me. I moved to my left, he swerved to his right! I then moved to my right, but he was already swerving to his left! I was confused, so I stopped still in the middle! He was confused too, he tried to stop, but I think he forgot to put his feet on the ground, because slowly, slowly, he totally toppled over onto the ground, shooting me a dirty look the whole way!
* I saw the best idea ever a while ago - serviettes to use at your bbq, in a tissue box! You just pull them right out like tissues! Marvellous!
* One bus driver (Barry) loves opera music, and always pumps the volume when it comes on the radio. He told me that he loves listening to opera on the ABC in the mornings, but doesn't like listening to ABC in the afternoons as it 'gets too highbrow'. (As opposed to opera which isn't highbrow at all??!)
* Another bus story - I saw a 5cent coin on the window ledge and decided to pick it up.... and it was glued on! A salute to someone who bothers to carry around 5cent coins and superglue to set up a trick that they'll never see pay off! Brilliant!
* We had a fancy dress day at work for Australia Day. One of the boys from the warehouse wore Australia undies over the top of his trousers, an Australian flag as a cape, and was riding a blow-up kangaroo all day. He kept jumping around yelling 'Hop hop and awaaaayyyy!!!'
Yep the world is a crazy place, and it's funny how I'm fitting in so perfectly... ;-)
Sorry for the lack of posts of late. There is a mightily powerful firewall at work that means I can't access my blog! I don't have a computer at home now that I've moved to the Cottage full time - although I'm thinking of buying one. I'm now blogging at *sob* a public library! Oh how the proud have fallen!
Work is going great, I'm really liking it there - much more than I thought I would! We had an Australia day party on Wednesday - a spit roast, free wine and beers, Sara Lee desserts... can't argue with that! Thursday was a public holiday so we weren't at work, and then on Friday - one girl from my office was on holidays and one called in sick, so there were just two of us, with twice the amount of work due to the public holiday - BAM - welcome back! We didn't stop all day, no lunch, no coffee break, no anything!
Speaking of coffee breaks - there's this other excellent thing about work that I've been dying to tell you all! So we're not really very close to any food shops, which I was worried about when I first started - that I would keep forgetting to bring my lunch and I would have to starve! Listen to how beautifully I was proven wrong...
About 10am each day, we get a phone call saying 'the Coffee Lady is here!' and it's this lady with a van, with a big proper coffee machine in the back! She pulls up just outside the office door and everyone lines up to get their cappucinos and hot chocolates (no froth!). She opens the sliding door in the van and there's a little bar fridge with cold drinks, banana bread, sandwiches. She has a little hot oven in the back with sausage rolls and quiches... how marvellous is that!
And then around 11.00 one of the guys from the warehouse will come up and shout 'the Chinese Man is here!' and, sure enough, there's a man with another van, and it's full of those big styrofoam catering boxes - and they have all these boxes of hot chinese food that he's cooked up in his shop! He has noodles and stir-frys and omelettes and spring rolls and all sorts of goodies!
And then at about 11.30 we hear one of those novelty horns, and we get an email saying 'If anyone is still hungry, the snack truck is here!' and we look outside and there's the Snack Truck lady with (not just a van!) a whole TRUCK full of goodies! Sandwiches and foccacias and pies and salads and drinks and chocolates and just about anything you could wish for.
So I've forgotten my lunch a couple of times - funnily enough I was totally fine :-)
(And have I mentioned lately that there is a pool out the back? Yeah, just thought I'd bring that up again!)
"I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do/
But I continue learning, I never meant to say those things to you/
And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know/
I've found out a reason for me to change who I used to be/
A reason to start over new, and the reason is You"
'The Reason' Hoobastank
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5.17
Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."
John 3.3
"The Spirit of the LORD will come upon you in power, and you will prophesy; and you will be changed into a different person. Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you."
1 Samuel 10.6-7
"And why have I called you for this work? I called you by name when you did not know me. I am the LORD; there is no other God. I have prepared you, even though you do not know me."
Isaiah 45.2-5
Then Job replied to the LORD:
"I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, `Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?' It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me.
"You said, `Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.'
"I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I repent that I ever doubted your glory."
Job 42.1-5
Items in my lovely black leather TK Maxx handbag this week:
• Candy check Burberry wallet
• Nokia 6230
• Nokia charger
• Bodyshop lipstain
• Chi Chi popgloss
• Chi Chi lip lacquer wand in 'Man Eater'
• Temple Spa 'All Talk' lip moisturiser
• No7 pressed powder compact
• 5 x band-aids
• 2005/2006 Debenhams mid-year diary
• $1 Boost Juice voucher
• glasses + cleaning cloth in glasses case
• 2 x Hillsong London blue pens
• 1 black pen
• Sally Hansen 'Double Duty' nail strengthener
• Dorothy Perkins sunglasses
• Coolmint flavour Listerine strips
• Mint flavoured Extra sugar free gum
• New Testament Message bible
• NLV metal case bible
(and would you believe, it's actually FULL now!)
This made me laugh out loud! I even snorted. Sometimes when I'm concentrating too hard (I know this happens to other people as well) I snort. Don't laugh! Doesn't that happen to you too? Oh you lie, it does so. You know, you're concentrating really hard on something, or you're walking quite quickly, or you're speaking too fast - and your throat kind of closes up a little bit and all of a sudden, you've just snorted! And you feel a bit silly, but it's all right, because everyone does it, but then why are they all looking at me strangely? And why are they laughing? And pretending that they weren't looking at me? But still lauging? Bah, hypocrites, the lot of you.
I love pretty shoes. Anyone who knows me will be nodding their head and smiling right now - it's fairly widely acknowledged, I love pretty shoes. And, the thing is, they don't even have to be comfortable, as long as they are pretty. I can make a lot of sacrifices for an exquisite pair of shoes. (Cast your mind back to my NYE post and me sprinting down the main street of Newcastle in death-defying cork platforms) But last week I really think I reached my limit. I've always loved shoes, but I think I finally reached a point where those darn shoes didnt love me back. In fact, they were openly hostile. The little buggers.
Let me start properly.
So when I was working at CPW I needed some 'corporate' shoes. And as any girl worth her power-dressing salt will tell you, for a girl, corporate means pointy. I was on a bit of a budget, so I went to Marks & Spencer. (Don't judge me, they actually have great shoes there!) I got some beautiful, beautiful black shoes. Pointy, high, a cute little silver buckle - everything I was looking for and at the perfect price. Alright, so they were a little high, and maybe my toes were a little squashed, but they looked great with a skirt, fab with trousers, they dressed up jeans, went perfectly with my work clothes, matched my new TK Maxx handbag - so what were a few blisters or sore toes? You mainly sit down at your desk all day at work anyway, so what's the problem?
Well, yes, until one day I wore them all day to a friends wedding, had to stand up all day and came home with two toes totally numb. That was in August last year and there are still spots on those toes with no feeling. No, I'm no kidding!
But focus people FOCUS! The important thing was that those shoes looked great on me! So when I started my new job last month, what do you think I had to wear? No question really. I wore the beautiful black M&S pointers. Which was fine! It was just fine... until... (you knew it was coming right? I'm no good at building suspense) last Wednesday. So it was the day before my first paycheck went into the bank, and I was broke. I had $4 on me, which was enough for me to get home from work that day, and get to work the next day, after which I would be able to get money out as I would be filthy rich after the first paycheck (it always feels like that doesn't it?!).
But, for several not very interesting reasons, I missed the bus. And there wasn't any more buses going back to my house. Don't start me on the stupidity of Sydney public transport - let's just smile and shake our heads and accept the fact that there weren't any more buses going in that direction, and move on. So I could have gotten a bus to Chatswood train station, and then the train from Chatswood to Lindfield, which would have been at least 4 times longer but still would have gotten me there - BUT there was not enough money for those sort of public transport shenanigans. There was not enough battery on my phone to call Shelley and ask her to pick me up so the only choice remained: to walk. It only took 10 minutes to drive, surely it couldn't be that long to walk?
(F/X: dramatic chord) FAMOUS LAST WORDS!!
Before I had even been walking for 5 minutes my feet were hurting. Luckily those two toes were already blessedly numb, but there were still another 8 un-numb toes shouting at me that this was not a good plan and they wanted out of these stupid shoes and into a foot spa. I had to cross a huge intersection, and somehow ended up on the side of the road that had no path. So I'm stumbling along in business attire by the side of the road, my heels are sinking into the dirt at every step, my shoes are filling with dirt and other irritants, it's so cursedly hot and my hair is going everywhere and I'm sweating bucketloads... yeah, not real glam!
I then had to walk down a road called Lady Game Drive, which, when you're driving, is a really nice drive. There's a big rock face on one side, and a pretty drop on the other side, looking out over a huge bush reserve. But when you're actually walking down it, all of a sudden you notice that there actually isn't much space either between the road and the rock face, or the road and the scarily steep drop down to the reserve. And so the adventure began. I was making the most of wherever I found a bit of a space, practically spreadeagling myself against the rock while the cars went past, checking to see if there were any more cars coming, scuttling out onto the road and doing a very strange cross between a power walk and a hobble along to the next clear spot, etc. etc. Picture this continuing for an hour and a half. Yes, you read that right - an HOUR AND A HALF. Let me tell you, I had some interesting conversations with God during that time. Mostly along the lines of "Oh God please don't let me die, Almighty Lord please don't let a car hit me, Oh Heavenly Father please make my feet stop hurting, Lord Jesus please let this be over soon..."
And the shoes? Well, the shoes. To say that my feet were hurting would be the understatement of the year. They were baking, they were burning, they were blistering, they were bleeding. The little rubber stoppers on the heels wore off or fell off, so the heels were now just little metal spikes, which provide NO shock resistance, jarred my ankles with every step, and kept sinking into the dirt which slowed me down and made my calves hurt even more. My toes were jammed down into the wicked little pointy front bit. The stones and dirt that had gotten into the shoes were grinding into my feet at every step.
When I got home (still alive PRAISE GOD) the first thing I did was take those shoes off and THROW THEM AWAY. The ungrateful little blighters! I'd loved them! Taken photos of them! Defended them to others! Encouraged others to go buy them! And this is how they repaid me? Almost crippling me? Well, I exclaimed, THAT'S IT!! ENOUGH!! NO MORE!! Nobody makes a sucker out of ME twice!! No more hurty shoes! They have absolutely no loyalty! They just take and take and take! They might look good but behind that beautiful pointy exterior lies a world of PAIN! And MISERY! And BLISTERS! BLISTERS DAMMIT!!
And so I wore my slippers to work for the rest of the week.
I'm busy making an excellent car cd! Do you know what a car cd is? Well, I'm sure you've all heard of car songs, right? Songs where, when you hear them you just have an uncontrollable urge to pump the volume and really belt it out, singing at the top of your lungs! Most often heard when you're in the car, and best experienced by yourself with the windows up (preferably on the freeway). And a car cd is a WHOLE BEAUTIFUL CD of those songs! How cool is that! I know, right! So making a car cd often turns out to be a very noisy process.
"And the reason is YOUUUUUUUUUUU"
"When DOVVVVVVEEESSSS CRYYYYYYYYY"
"Just because...I'm in love...with an UPTOWN GIIII-IIIRRRRRLLLLLL"
"ABC! It's easy as ONE TWO THREE, YOU AND ME, ABC baby you and ME GIRRRRRLLLLLL"
Ahem... I think you get the picture ;-) So my car cds are called Earcandy - because I don't worry whether the songs actually have any integrity or not (I've got Manu Chao next to Britney Spears next to the Everly Brothers next to Otis Redding) it's just a bit like junk food for your ears! I'm up to Earcandy vol III now, and still no signs of running out of songs!
EARCANDY
"Teardropppps on the dancefloor - reMINDS ME BABY OF YOU!"
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the bar and DAMN RIGHT it's BETTER THAN YOURS!!"
"So puh-LEEEEEEEEEASE baaaaayyy-bbbeeeeeeee puh-leeeeeeeease, open your HEAAAAAAARRRRRRT..."
(Did I mention that the thing about car songs is that it doesn't matter how wrong you get the lyrics, as long as you keep the volume UP and sing as loudly as possible? Very important to remember that!)
